Saturday, September 01, 2018

Donald Trump is threatening Google with prosecution because of all the insulting search results of his name. "Yeah, me too," said O.J. Simpson.  

A survey claims men believe women achieve orgasm with them 85% when women say it is more like 52%. Gentlemen, do you realize what this means? Women are worse at math than we thought.

The Glow of Having a Great Teacher 

Here is a cute little nugget, I think.

As my tome about the Sixth Grade 220 Yard Sprint Championship ended with the happy story of my winning the 220, 440, high jump and long jump at the Junior High Track Championship, we, Carlton Washburn, also won the 1972 team championship. And our coach was a great guy, Dave Flahive, a great science teacher and a damn good track coach. 

Mr. Flahive, as we called him, was a young, fit guy and about as cool as a teacher gets because he was not trying to be cool. He just was. How many can name the first name of a teacher you had in 8th grade? 

OK, now that I think about it, I can name a bunch of Junior High teacher’s first name, but only the teachers I liked. Mary McMahon, Clint Burgess, Joe Pomponi, the gym teacher, even though he once choked me and threw me against the wall.  

Pretty sure it was justified, but Joe had a temper.

(Also loved/crushed-on Miss Brodie, later, much to my heartbreak, Mrs. Greenspan, but I can't remember her first name. She personally, one-on-one taught me about iron oxide) 

Our track team consisted of some damn good 13-year-old athletes including Bruce Barkwell, Rob Schoeder, Jeff Lipe, Sam Detmer, Pete Wagelmouth and Phelps Hoyt. Am still friends with Jeff, Bruce and Phelps.

So I am a big fan of the Netflix show “GLOW” (Whoa, where is this idiot going with this?) Relax, I will show you. 

“GLOW” was recommended by people on Twitter who are damn good comedians and it stars one of my favorite comedians in Marc Maron. It also features the talented Alison Brie, she of “Funny or Die” and “Community” fame. Check her out in the “Bad Dog” “What Can Brown Do For You?” skits on “Funny or Die.” 


The show “GLOW” is about the real ’80’s show, “The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling.” Like “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Nobodies,” “Maron” -  starring, you guessed it, Marc Maron -  “Barry,” “You’re the Worst” and Judd Apatow’s “Love,” it is a show about making it or trying to make it in Hollywood.

There are two types of people, most people who hate pro wrestling and those who love it way too much. Those, like me, who hate it hate it because it is fake. Those who love it think it is real. 

“GLOW” does a great job of pointing out the truth is somewhere in between. Yes, the matches are choreographed, but there is real athleticism and real injuries. In the real “GLOW” one woman grotesquely broke her arm during a match.

“GLOW” also gave me more empathy to the people who love pro wrestling. We all are fairly good at suspended disbelief. Look at the the “Star Wars” fans, they are smart as hell, nerds, but smart as hell, and they almost completely believe “Star Wars” is real.

That is what the fans of pro wrestling do. Plus, the wrestlers really do fly through the air and land on each other and bleed and get hurt. So, if anything, pro wrestling  is far more real than movies.  

One night while eye-guzzling "GLOW", I noticed the co-creator and co-head writer was named Liz Flahive. Since eighth grade, that is only the second time I have seen the name Flahive.   

As I am not a believer in coincidences, especially duplicating five jokes in a row, I had a strong feeling there might be a connection.  

So, sure enough, Liz Flahive is on Twitter. So I tweet to her asking, due to the uniqueness of the name, if she is any relation? T'was not (first time ever using T'was) expecting a response because Liz is a big-time TV writer. Was a writer out of NYU for "Seventeen" magazine and on the hit shows “Nurse Jackie” and “Homeland” and others. (Thank you, Google)  

But, no she, Liz Flahive, responded quite sweetly. And guess what? 

Dave Flahive is her dad. Slap my face and call me Betty. 

Liz tweeted me she would say hi to her dad for me and the above mentioned track team. Not sure if he will remember me, but he should remember that track team. If he does remember me, I regret to think it is because my hormone-to-brains ratio in eighth grade was running about ten-to-one.  

Especially in Miss Golden’s class. Her long blonde hair, perfume and her cute little knit mini dresses? Two words: damn it.

Miss Golden must have thought I was quite a dedicated student as many was the time I sat there after the bell rang with my face buried in a book while actually reciting the Cubs lineup in my head.

But I digress. 

To all the great eighth grade teachers out there, like Dave Flahive - and they have to be dedicated considering the psycho, hormone-raging, acne-having and braces-wearing little nut-jobs they have to teach - your effect on your students is everlasting.

Or I should say ever-glowing.