Sunday, July 01, 2018

Jimi, Jimi, Jimi, dontchya know my name, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers? 

They asked Renaldo's statue to comment on Portugal's loss today:

"Errrrr mehhrrrr geerrd, I play soccer and kerk the berrrl with my ferrrt."

A Kid Rock is what they found in Ted Nugent's colonoscopy.

Roseanne Barr claims she has had several TV show offers. One is called "Eleven-Foot Pole." That's because the studio said they would not touch her with a ten-foot pole." 

The host team of Russia continues to do well in the World Cup eliminating Spain. When asked the secret of their success, they said teamwork, hard work, and the ardent desire not to get shot.

It is not surprising Russia has done well in the World Cup. Before it started, Vladimir Putin asked the team, 

"Did you hear the story about the soccer team that embarrassed me by losing and lived?" They said no. Putin said,

"Neither have I. "

Heather Locklear has agreed to enter a long-term mental facility. She will be on 24-hour watch, which means she will have a doctor on the schawing shift.

A producer for "The Bachelor" said the biggest elimination factor for contestants is herpes. It's the same thing with Donald Trump's Supreme Court nominee list.

34-year-old pitcher, Edwin Jackson, is on his 13th major league team, a record. If he gets on one more team, he will be an honorary Kardashian.

34-year-old pitcher, Edwin Jackson, is on his 13th major league team, a record. Jackson has been inside more different teams' pants than Madonna.

34-year-old pitcher, Edwin Jackson, is on his 13th major league team, a record. 14th if you count the New York Mets as a major league team.

What happened to the guy in Kansas who was arrested in May for having sex with the tailpipe of a car? He threw himself on the mercy of the court, but that backfired.

Two "Telemundo" World Cup TV hosts were suspended for making racist slant-eyed gestures while celebrating Mexico advancing due to South Korea's win over Germany. 

And the chant "Woof, woof, yum, yum," did not help.

It also did not help when someone yelled, "Schnauzer tacos for everyone." 

Since you asked:

Will take 4-1 odds that Justice Anthony Kennedy pops up in the Mueller investigation. Too big of a coincidence is no coincidence. 

Jared Leto, Keith Richards and Johnny Depp shop at Gay Pirates R Us.

A back that goes out more than a Trenton crack-whore #ProblemsIDidntHave20YearsAgo

The guy is still dating the girl who, when they announced Donald Trump was the 45th president during Super Bowl 52 said, 

"Oh my god, the Super Bowl has been around longer than our presidents."

She must be amazing at the sex.

The mystery of the sudden deluge of French readers on this blog remains.

Janice Hough of, on the Giants’ Beatles-themed postgame fireworks show: “In honor of (pitcher Hunter) Strickland breaking his hand on a door, are they playing ‘Fool on the Hill’?”

Like air escaping a tire with a nail puncture, you can hear the sympathy for Melania Trump escaping from the press and the public. Virtually nobody believes a one-time semi-model was unaware of her jacket's message,

 "I really don't care. Do u?" 

And that message could not have been more callous and bitchy given the circumstances. 

We wanted to be sympathetic due to Trump's awful treatment of her with Stormy Daniels, but now our worst suspicions were confirmed: Melania Trump is a greedy, vapid, ex-escort golddigger with virtually no class. In other words, perfect for Donald Trump.