Bip, bap, boop, gonna get me some termaytee soup, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers



Donald Trump said Canadians, not the British, burned the White House in 1812. We should ask someone who was there. Call Larry King.






In England, a baby's first word was Alexa. Its next words were, "Alexa, sign me up for therapy for life."






Learned math using my fingers #AgeYourselfIn3Words






First we let Canadians burn down our White House in the "War of 1812," next they'll replace our bacon with round pieces of thin, dry ham.








Sure, Canada burned down the White House in the "War of 1812," but don't forget they also gave us the Beatles.







Now, I don't want to say tonight's game 3 is a must-win for the Cleveland Cavaliers, but it is a must-win for the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Huh. I guess I did want to say it.







Donald Trump's family fortune started with his grandfather's brothel. Trump was the one who decided to expand making money by screwing people with real estate.







The Philadelphia Eagles bailed on their ceremony, Melania has been missing for over 20 days and now Kellyanne Conway calls him the Commander in Cheese. Roughest time for Trump since his tanning salon ran out of his Burnt Sienna Sunset tanning spray.





French President, Emmanuel Macron, described his conversations with Donald Trump as like sausage. When asked to explain, Macron said, "The guy talks about sausage all the time. What is there to explain?"