The Hoda and Meredith Slip & Slide

At the Rio Olympics Opening Ceremony, did you see the muscled and handsome oiled up shirtless Tonga flag bearer? I thought Hoda Kotb and Meredith Viera were going to qualify for the 200 meters to get at him first.  

Hey, Skipper, arrrrrr.

The first sport of the Olympics has begun: making fun of the team uniforms of the other countries. 

First of all, the US look like gay, preppie pirates. 

Aussie, Aussie, oy vey, oy vey, oy vey

Australia looked like they took time out from scooping ice cream at the Indiana state fair of 1930.

Croatia looked like somebody should be serving a plate of lasagna on top of them.

Angus Young carries the flag for Britain

Great Britain looked like they were about to rip the lead guitar chord from AC-DC’s “All Night Long.” 

Germany looked like computer hackers. All that was missing was the vaporizer. 

Russia looked like the valet parkers at a beach volleyball tournament.

P.S. At the Rio Opening Ceremonies, I saw US basketball’s Draymond Green marching while taking a selfie. Happy to report his fly was zipped.