The female San Bernardino shooter, Tashfeen Malik, sent Jihad messages on Facebook. One message she sent was a video of a cat playing “Death to America” on piano.

Donald Trump’s doctor wrote a letter saying Trump would be the healthiest president ever. This despite Trump having a serious case of cranial rectal inversion: his head is up his ass. 

In England, a drunk driver crashed his car and was caught hiding in a Nativity Scene. Police suspected something when they discovered the wisemen had brought gold, frankincense and pork rinds. 

On “MNF”, firework victim, New York Giant Jason Pierre-Paul recovered a fumble. You got to hand it to Jason, he has sure finger.