Tuesday, July 07, 2015

All righty then . . . *

The US Women’s World Cup soccer team won for the first time in 16 years. Or as Chicago Cubs fans call 16 years, “We’ve spent more time than that waiting for bathrooms at Wrigley Field.”

In Los Angeles, they had a rally for the Women’s World Cup winners. After two days of celebrating, the US players said; “Wow, little girl screaming is loud.”

10 Reasons Why The US Women’s Soccer Team Is Better Than the US Men’s Soccer Team

1, The women don’t flop.

2, The women don’t flop.

3, The women don’t flop.

4, The women play a more generous, teamwork-oriented game. And the women appear to be much better sportsmen than the men. The men appear to be prima donnas who pout when they don’t get a pass. The women are genuinely happy when someone else scores. The men? No so much. Especially Joey Altidore. And did I mention men flop? Well, they do . . .

5, Hate to bring up looks because women are involved, but facts are facts. The women are way, way better looking than the men’s team. The entire Women’s team is what I call real world beautiful. Meaning they are what beautiful women in the real world look like. Not the scary-looking beautiful women of magazines and Hollywood like freaky-scary models and actresses like Brazilian, Adriana Lima, US's Hannah Davis and or Olivia Wilde. They of the alien-like blue eyes. OK, yes, Alex Morgan is model-beautiful with scary blue eyes. And Abby Wambach is great looking in the Viking Warrioress/tall blonde in "Game of Thrones" kind of way. But they are all extremely fit, strong, pretty in long or short hair, t-shirts and jeans. The men? What can I say? It is bad when Clint Dempsey isn’t the ugliest guy on the team.*

6, The US women’s team can dance. The US men’s team are men. Men can’t dance. We can't. OK, I can't.  

7, The women’s team appears to have much more fun. They imitate Abby Wambach, they have great nicknames. Alex Morgan and Sidney Leroux have a dance they do before the game. The women's team has so much more personality than the men's team. Megan "The Firecracker" Rapinoe alone has more personality than the entire men's team. The men's team has the personality of a hung-over presidential candidate. 

8, The plain truth is the women are just tougher than the men. They are. And this isn’t just about flopping. Morgan Brian and Germany’s Alexandra Popp crashed heads together. Popp’s head looked like a smashed watermelon. Brian’s eyes were pinwheels. Both stayed in the game. Men would not do that. Men could not do that.

9, The women’s team has more Morgans. My beloved stuffed childhood dog is named Morgan. (I call him Morgie. And yes, I still have him)

10, The women won the World Cup. Repeat. The women won the World Cup. The US women were paid four times less to win the World Cup than the US men were paid in 2014 to lose in the round of 16. (Yes, I know there is less advertising money on women's soccer) And the women get paid 20 times less than the German men did for winning the World Cup in 2014. Not the normal injustice of women’s pay, 73% of men’s pay, Twenty Times Less. In short, they get paid like comedy writers. 

You have to love that.