In Time Square, the cartoon mascots Hello Kitty and Minny Mouse were arrested after getting into a brawl even Spiderman could not break up. Apparently Hello Kitty was being catty.

The children who witnessed this fight will be in therapy for the rest of their lives.

In Time Square, the cartoon mascots Hello Kitty and Minny Mouse were arrested after getting into a brawl. Apropos of nothing, tthis is not supposed to be arousing, right?”

A study claims listening to Mozart improves your memory. When asked to comment, a hipster said; “What year was she on “The Voice”?

It is official, the NFL has given the game assignments to Sarah Thomas, the first female ref. A female authority figure dolling out punishment to giant adrenaline pumped behemoths crazed on steroids many with a track record of domestic abuse. What could possibly go wrong?

In China, owning a pet was considered elitist, but now having a pet in China is a status symbol. That is a big step for a poodle to go from Kung Pao to a status symbol.

At the Memorial Tournament, Tiger Woods shot an abysmal 85. That is the worst his aim has been since he drove into the fire hydrant.

Outside of Chicago, a train ran over a truck with 70,000 pounds of bacon. Even though it is not his state, New Jersey Gov., Chris Christie, immediately ordered a state of emergency.

American Pharoah won the Triple Crown. That’s good because he couldn’t win a spelling bee.

The Denver Broncos have established a fart tax. They had to do something, it was bad. When Payton Manning used to yell Omaha, that meant to pull his finger.

An FDA panel has approved a female Viagra pill. Women, for fantasies of Chris Hemsworth, Channing Tatum or Chris Pine lasting over four hours, please see your doctor.