Tuesday, March 31, 2015

A study claims taking a 45-minute nap in the middle of the day can improve your memory. It will help you remember why you’re unemployed.

A Justice Department report claims US DEA agents in Columbia had drug- fueled sex parties with prostitutes supplied by drug cartels. If this is true, the DEA agents will be charged with literally doing everything they’re not supposed to do.

The “Comedy Central” Justin Bieber roast was rough. Bruce Jenner’s testicles are in for an easier time than what happened to Justin’s.

Indiana Gov., Mike Pence, has received a ton of hatred for his anti-gay law. But don’t worry, Pence plans on redeeming himself by going on “Ellen” and getting roasted on “Comedy Central.”

The NCAA final four is in Indiana, which just passed the “Religious Freedom” anti-gay law. So now, during the games, the announcers will not be allowed to use the terms, tip off, putting a body on someone, ball-handling and taking it to the hole.  

The “Comedy Central” Justin Bieber roast was rough. At one point, the roasters on the dais started throwing poop at Justin’s monkey.

The “Comedy Central” Justin Bieber roast featured Kevin Hart, Snoop Dogg, Ludicris, Shaq and Hannibal Burress. I have not heard the N-word that much since Paula Dean’s soufflé dropped.

Since you asked:

Wish those online lists would provide a clear ending. For example, you’re flipping through pictures of a list titled; 

“Celebrities Who Have Had Sexually Transmitted Diseases.” 

And it is the usual suspects, Charlie Sheen, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Tommy Lee, Madonna, Dennis Rodman, Ke$ha, Pamela Anderson, Matthew McConaughey.

And suddenly you’re looking at pictures of Pope Francis, Taylor Swift, Mother Teresa and Tim Tebow, and you yell, “What the chocolate-dipped mother efffffffff . . . ?” and you look up and the list has changed to; 

"Most Religious Celebrities."