A new book claims Jesus had a wife and two kids. So that made the last supper a boys night out.

A wife and two kids? Now we know the real reason why Jesus turned water into wine.

There was an awkward moment at the APEC meeting in China when Russian president Vladimir Putin tried to rub Barack Obama’s back and got a chilly response. It got even weirder when Putin offered Obama a happy ending.

After a big 45-21 win over the Panthers, Eagles QB, Mark Sanchez, enjoyed Philly cheesesteak sandwiches with the fans. The notoriously picky Eagles fans were happy until Sanchez butt-fumbled a French Fry, and then they booed him unmercifully.

The Mormon church has admitted their founder, Joseph Smith, had 40 wives. His death has officially been changed from a mob shooting to a mercy killing.

The Midwest is about to get hit by its first winter storm. People will be shaking like the Chicago Bears watching the film of the Packers game.

The Chicago Bears got crushed by the Green Bay Packers 55-14 and the game was not as close as the score indicated. It was so bad, by the second half, the L.A. Lakers were making jokes about the Bears.

Iraq claims the head of ISIS, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi was wounded in a rocket attack. His replacement is al-Bee Sheetin Mah Drawers.

Following a humiliating 55-14 loss to the Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bear coach, Marc Trestmen, said his QB, Jay Cutler, needs to play better. Equally insightful was Trestman’s assessment that the Bears defense needs to suck less.

. Cushing

Since you asked:

My office desk looks out a window on our Cul De Sac. A couple months ago, we got word that our neighbor, two doors down, an Asian-American woman named Roseanna, whom I estimate to be in her late sixties, was terminally ill with lung cancer.

While Roseanna was not friendly with us, or our neighbors, she was clearly beloved by her large family. Her husband, Gus, is a genuinely odd and loud little man who shouts out blunt statements, Tourette’s-like, whatever and whenever they pop into to his odd little mind:

“You need to wash car.” “Your garage messy.” “Your dog big.”

Soon their children and grandchildren were all coming to visit. Cars filled their driveway and parked in the street, little kids running and laughing. Grownups talking quietly. Gus is now oddly quiet.

After a couple days, the grown ups and children went away. Not long after that, a hospital bed was delivered. In addition came small packages.

Not long after that, an ambulance came and got Roseanna. The next day the hospital bed was carted away. Flowers were delivered.

Roseanna’s children and grandchildren are back. This morning they were all dressed in black.