The first porn movie filmed by a drone is coming out. It’s called “Enter Stella.”

Papa Johns is advertising a pizza with Fritos on it. How lazy, fat and stoned have we become when it is just too much work to open a bag and sprinkle Fritos on a pizza?

The first porn movie filmed by a drone is coming out. It’s called “Kim and Kanye Did Not Close The Blinds.”

We are still sorting out the new propositions. Proposition 58 makes it illegal for older dudes to wear socks with Crocs.

Proposition 51 makes it illegal to talk about your gluten-free diet.

Proposition 8 makes it illegal to post a picture of an ugly baby on Facebook.

Marvel announced seven new movies. The seventh movie is titled; “Just Give Us the Rest Of Your Money.”

ABC has cancelled its new comedy “Selfie.” It will be replaced by another brilliant sitcom called “Dick Pic.”

Since you asked:

Something happened last night I thought never would. The Chicago Bears embarrassed me. Not just by being bad, which they were, but by being gutless. Bad is bad. Gutless is a lot worse. 

Believe me, being a lifelong Bear fan, I saw some awful teams. First got hooked by the excitement that was every time Gale Sayers touched the ball. That lasted 3 and ¾ glorious seasons until he got hurt in the later part of 1968 when I was ten.

But the early ‘70’s Bears were brutal. Watching an injured Sayers and then an injured Butkus struggle was grim. Butkus’s knee bowed out like a sideways V. Not sure how he could put weight on it. Dick Butkus is probably the toughest man who ever lived.

But as bad as the Jack Concannon/Bobby Douglass, Abe Gibron Bears were, they were still tough, blue collar and they played hard.

An odd situation occurred with the 70’s Bears team that can’t happen now. The Bear owner, George Halas, was so insanely cheap, he refused to pay a decent wage to non-star players. So you had second and third string lineman who were fat, weak and slow. Receivers who couldn’t catch and running backs with below average speed. These guys were there to fill uniforms and that was it. 

At the time I remember thinking there were guys on the field for the Bears who wouldn’t have made my high school teams. Guys who went to such football powerhouses as Wheaton, Coe, St. Joseph and Wabash colleges.

But they were grateful to be in the NFL and so they played their guts out.

Now virtually every member of every NFL roster is a superbly conditioned athlete. But that does not mean they have any heart or guts.

Last night, announcer, Chris Collinsworth, could not refrain from laughing at the lazy pass routes and weak, hapless defense of the Bears. 

Even though I am a Bear fan, I am also a fan  of C.M.Three. My boy, Clay Matthews III, Trey Clay, so nice they named him thrice, de-cleated a Bear receiver without leaving his feet.

Early in the game before the slaughter, the Packers had third and eleven. All the Bear defensive backs had to do was back up 10 yards and make sure any receiver past 10 yards was covered. Rodgers threw the ball to a receiver who went past his defender. The closest defender to the reciever was only eight yards deep.

The second closest Bear defender to the receiver was 14 yards away. Both were exactly where they should not have been. 

Yes, Jay Cutler, is a whiny a-hole and maybe he is rubbing off on the rest of the team. To paraphrase myself, and clean it up a bit, Cutler’s default expression is a constipated Laurel Hardy. But Cutler is tough and he plays hard, even when he is playing badly. The rest of the team is not playing hard.

How can a guy the size, speed and strength of Matt Forte, not be able to throw a block? That is just plain lack of fortitude, Forte.

Let's just be blunt and say it: last night, the Chicago Bears got Boyce'd in their Garrison.