Monday, May 12, 2014

It is hot, I am sweating like Jay-Z in an elevator telling Beyonce’s sister, Solange, there isn’t room for her in the limo.

The city of Denver is urging the Colorado Symphony to call off their pot-themed concerts saying that, even though marijuana is legal in the state, it cannot be smoked at concerts. This request came from someone who has clearly never, ever been to a concert.  

A new phone conversation recording has emerged with Donald Sterling denying he is a racist. What a shock. Next to emerge will be a paparazzi picture of Sterling’s new Martin Luther King Jr. tattoo.

In sad news, Lee Marshall, one of the voices of Tony the Tiger, passed at 64. Turns out he wasn’t doing so grrrrrrreat.

The popularity of the Los Angeles Clippers has soared since they banned Donald Sterling for life; in fact, the Clipper’s marketability has increased so much, today the Los Angeles Lakers also banned Donald Sterling for life.

A Guyana man was arrested at JFK for trying to smuggle cocaine in packets of custard. Upon hearing of the cocaine in custard, Rob Ford screamed; “Let me out of this rehab, now.”

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West got married last weekend. Kanye promised to love, honor and cherish for the rest of his life. And besides himself, he said he’d do some stuff for Kim too.

Did you see Beyonce’s sister, Solange, going after Jay-Z? She was all over him like Rob Ford on the last piece of bacon-flavored crack.