Monday, February 03, 2014

Go ahead and call me a Wilde Munn, I don’t mind, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Following their Super Bowl win, there were reports of rioting in Seattle; well, not really rioting, but several coffee houses reported soy milk spilled on purpose.
Congratulations to the Seattle Seahawks, they trounced the Denver Broncos, 43-8. It got bad for Denver when Peyton Manning switched from saying Omaha to Oh, Mama.
A San Francisco porn maker has been hit with an almost $80,000 fine for unsafe work conditions. Here’s my question: can they really be called work conditions? That’s like calling a hooker a human resources consultant.
A Rhode Island high school football player born without arms, Issac Lufkin, wants to play in the NFL. He could be a big asset to the Cincinnati Bengals, if he commits a crime, they’ll know he’s unarmed.
Political experts feel the next presidential race could be between Mitt Romney and Hillary Clinton, or as comedy writers call that: the dream ticket.
He’s a bore and her husband’s a whore.
Retired seven-time NBA All Star, Tracy McGrady, can pitch over 90 mph and is considering a try at baseball; he’s thinking of trying out with the New York Mets. And if he makes it there he will try out for a Major League team.
Following their Super Bowl win, there were reports of rioting in Seattle; well, not really rioting, but there were reports of Vegan hipsters eating corndogs.
Usually after a Super Bowl there is a letdown for sports lovers, but not this year, in no time we will have one of the greatest sporting events of all. And besides the “Sports Illustrated” swimsuit edition, there is the winter Olympics in Sochi.
People were skeptical about Seattle Seahawk QB, Russell Wilson, because he is small. But, hey, if size was such a big asset than the Super Bowl would be won every year by New Jersey Gov., Chris Christie.
Thoughts on the Superah Bahboorah:
It took the Seahawks almost no time to go from up 15 right before the half to up 22. Needing three scores in the second half killed the Broncos. Before that, the Binkies D had stopped the ‘Hawks from getting in the end zone twice and had something of to be proud.
No, Peyton did not have a good game. Nobody has a good game throwing under intense pressure to receivers who are blanketed. Richard Sherman put his money where his mouth is. You cannot throw against that guy, period. And that Percy Harvin? He made the Seattle G.M. and Pete Carroll look like a genius in three damn plays. That guy is faster than Chris Christie going for the last piece of pie.
Good on yah, ‘Hawks. Not a great game to watch, but you played awesome.

This loss could be brutal for the D-Ville Binkies. Peyton is not getting more mobile, and unless your coaches name rhymes with Schmill Schmellicik, it is tough in the parity-driven NFL to survive second place. No draft picks. Losing coaches to better offers. Tough schedule. Lose free agents.