Eddie would go, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Now that the government has been shut down, so is the FCC; which explains Matt Lauer opening the “Today” show with: “Suck it, bitches.” 

Most of the Boston Red Sox have grown lucky beards for the playoffs; to give you an idea how many, there are more beards in the Red Sox clubhouse than Liza Minnelli has been for gay men.

51% of AOL users feel the democrats are at fault for the government shutdown. And 30% responded to the poll on their pagers.

Forty Niner safety, Donte Whitner, fined $21,000 by the NFL for a hard hit, now says he is leaving off the W and changing his name to Hitner. See, if it was me, I would complain so much about the fine, I would leave out the T and change my name to Whiner.

Top Cleveland Brown pick, lineman Barkevious Mingo, was injured in the pre-season with a lung contusion. Experts say it was the worst injury ever sustained by a player named Barkevious. It was the most pain he has been in since he stepped on a rake and Barkevioused his Mingos.

Rules for Lex’s Mancave:

Rule # 1: THERE ARE NO RULES!

#2: No whining.

#3: What happens in the Man-Cave stays in the Man-Cave. (Don’t worry, nothing is going to happen in the Man-Cave)

#4: What is on the screen is what is going to stay on the screen. Do not ask to change it.

#5: If you eat a nachos chip with the trifecta of melted cheese, meat and salsa, you must shout “Boo Yah Hobastank.”

#6: You want a drink? Get it yo-self.

#7: Only Lex touches the clickers.

#8: He who smelt it dealt it, but don’t you dare dealt it. Hob

 #9: Contrary to popular opinion, women are allowed in the Lex Man-Cave, but they must wear this when in there.