Wednesday, March 06, 2013

And now, let's cut to another round of "Top Chopped."


"Contestants, this is the appetizer round. Open your food baskets. You have Zingwababa root, hockey pucks, Elmer's glue and monkey elbows. You have five minutes."

Cut to judge #1:

"Oh, this is exciting, monkey elbows and Zingwababa root are the steak and french fries of fine Djibouti dining." 

Judge #2:

"Yes, but how will they re-purpose and incorporate the hockey pucks with the Elmer's Glue? Those are ingredients normally found in the dessert round." 

P.S. Overly pierced and tattooed chef using molecular cooking, the anti-griddle and a CO2 dispenser. You're a flaming douche bag and everybody knows it, but you.