Tuesday, February 26, 2013

We gots the hots for a tater tot or two, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

A New York woman was arrested for hiring two strippers for her son’s 16th birthday party. Or as Charlie Sheen calls her: Mother of the year.

Allegheny College in Pennsylvania brought in two sex counselors to teach the students masturbation. It’s bad enough we can’t keep up with the Chinese in math, now our students can’t even turn Japanese.

This explains why Allegheny’s teams are the Fighting Choking Chickens.

Maurice Taylor, a CEO of an American tire company blasted French workers as lazy, apathetic and unproductive. To which the French workers said; “Who cares? I am going to take zee nap, no?”

Now they believer the European horse meat scandal has spread to the US; this is upsetting to the horse meat neigh sayers.

 “Watching the Daytona 500 was great, but now I have to get ready for my Oscar costume party,” said no male in the US ever.

The government of Iceland is attempting to ban Internet pornography; Iceland would have better luck banning ice from their land.

“Argo” won best picture and Ben Affleck wasn’t even nominated for best director; that is the worst thing I have ever heard that has ever happened to a rich, famous movie star married to the gorgeous Jennifer Garner.

Since you asked:

Got to achieve a culinary dream last night.

Back story.

When we were young-ish, wild, single stockbrokers in La Jolla in the 80’s, our chief haunt was Jose’s Courtroom. They had a great juke box and made killer margaritas and it had a great crowd.

On Fridays – and Fridays only – they served Carnitas. Slow cooked pork shoulder, crispy and soft in fresh flour tortillas with refried beans, rice and an amazing cabbage salad.

After the market closed at 1:00 PM, we would storm the joint to get a table by the window to people watch, oh, who am I kidding? Scope babes and swill Maggies. These lunches frequently had to be called due to darkness. And beyond.

Made Carnitas last night and it was everything I remembered. And so easy.

Essentially cut pork shoulder into one-inch cubes, salt and pepper sprinkle with garlic powder and a half of a Habanero pepper, pour in one quart of beer and one quart of water. Bring to a boil then simmer/boil it down until the liquid is almost gone. (About 45 minutes, longer is better)

When the liquid is almost gone, pour in half a cup of milk with half a cup of orange juice. Simmer down until the liquid is gone. About 8 minutes. Then stir regularly for another three minutes to get it brown and crispy in it’s own rendered fat.

Serve on a grilled flour tortilla with refried beans, cheese, avocado and salsa. Add chopped green onions and cilantro.

Safety note. The seeds are the hottest part of the Habanero pepper, so I picked them out with my finger. Then I scratched my nose – on the inside – with that finger and spent the next hour with an amazing burning sensation in my nostril. Thank heaven I didn’t rub my eye. 

Or something else. 

It turns out some feminists have decided to get their jockstraps in a twist over Seth McFarland's Oscar performance labeling it sexist, specifically his dance number, "We Saw Your Boobs."

Guess what? Women do show their boobs in movies. All the time. Joking about it is not sexist. 

With gay partners producing the show and an endless number of song and dance routines, about the only thing this show could not be is sexist. If anything, with Streisand and the rest, it pandered to a huge gay stereotype.