Monday, December 17, 2012

'Day nobody out 'day, dirty beans, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers


Happy 50th Birthday to New York Jets coach, Rex Ryan, last week. You can still get him a present, he is registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond Hope.

According to a study in ‘The Journal of Sexual Medicine” the female G-spot does not exist; to which guys said; “See, I told you, honey.”

To which women replied; “Keep looking for it anyway.”

Dallas Cowboy receiver Dez Bryant is questionable Sunday because of a swollen finger; you don’t think players used to be tougher? San Francisco Forty Niner safety, Ronnie Lott, had his finger amputated so he wouldn’t miss a game. Lucky for Lott he didn’t pull a groin.

Since you asked:

Just when I think I cannot hate the Dallas Cowboys – and their sleazy owner, Jerry Jones – anymore, they allow an accused killer, Josh Brent, to roam their sidelines on the weekend following 26 tragic murders. This is the stupidest public relations move in sports in a year that had Nike owner, Phil Knight, publically support the actions of Penn State coach, Joe Paterno, who covered for his coach who raped young boys.

And how about that Tom Brady? Yes, he almost engineered an amazing comeback against the 49ers. Brady is talented, he is handsome, he is rich, he is married to a supermodel. He also finger-blew his nose on the ground during the flare tribute to the Sandy Hook victims. A display of rude, selfish classlessness its like has not seen in a long time.

The NFL has murderers in OJ Simpson, Ray Curruth and Ray Lewis. It has a puppy-killer/dog fighter in Michael Vick. It has a double-rapist in Ben Roethlisburger. Countless domestic abuse and drunk driving cases. The NFL’s image has never been more embarrassing.

Yes, I know what Jerry Jones was trying to do, innocent until proven guilty, support a teammate in trouble, blah, blah, blah. What Jones and the Cowboy's egomania blinds them from seeing is what they did: essentially support the concept of drunk driving by allowing a killer to walk around on their sideline. Which would have been thoughtless and disgraceful on a weekend that did not follow a massacre of innocent children. 

NFL commissioner, Roger Goodell, needs to fine the Cowboys $1,000,000 for pure classlessness and give the money to the surviving victims of Sandy Hook. Or the victims of hurricane Sandy. One. 

"So, what did you do today?"

"Let's see, I updated my blog, recorded my podcast, uploaded that to my blog, updated my Facebook page, uploaded my podcast to Twitter, posted on my website and uploaded on to Twitter, Facebook and my blog my YouTube clip that almost went viral."

"Wow, so you must be making a lot of money."

"Oh, no, not a goddamn dime."  

Dear Jimmy Buffett, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura; 

I really, really, really didn't need to know you don't wear underwear.