Monday, August 13, 2012

Whewwwww, that is hippy talk, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Five-time Olympic swimming medalist, Ryan Lochte admitted to peeing in the pool. Now we know why Lochte went last in the relays.

And we thought he was standing in the water smiling because he won a medal.

Chuck Norris is upset at President Barack Obama for not speaking out in favor of banning gays from the Boy Scouts. That is great, but I am going to wait to hear what Claude Van Dam thinks.
Mitt Romney has picked Paul Ryan as his running mate. I like Paul Ryan, he looks like the guy at the office who goes into detail about his golf game whether you asked him or not.

Mitt Romney has picked Paul Ryan as his running mate. Democratic critics have described Ryan as a male Sarah Palin, but with a smaller penis.

Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt won three gold medals. What a great name for a sprinter, Bolt. Whereas sprinter Carl Napping didn’t do very well.

The Olympic Marathon silver and bronze medals were won by Kenyans. In equally shocking news, a Sumo wrestling match was won by a half-naked fat guy.

Since you asked:

Saw an article in an online paper that claims the title of World’s Greatest Athlete should go to Usain Bolt instead of Decathlon winner, Ashton Eaton.

Let’s think about that.

How about we have them do the other one’s event/events and compare?

Granted, in Bolts’s events, Eaton loses to Bolt in the 100 meters and the 200 meters. He does well enough to make it to the back of pack in the semis, but he loses to Bolt by a good five meters. Maybe even more in the 200.

Fine, now let’s put Bolt in the Decathlon. Yes, Bolt wins the 100 and the 400 by a good margin. (There is no 200 in the Decathlon) That is only two out of ten events. Besides maybe a decent long jump due to his sheer speed, Bolt gets absolutely drubbed – yes, I said drubbed – by Ashton Eaton in the other seven events.


To put the Decathlon in perspective, imagine there is a sport that combines ten events and one of the events is golf. With ten other events to train for, they could only get around to hitting golf balls maybe twice or three times a week. Whereas dedicated pro golfers are hitting 500 to 1,000 balls each day.

On a good day, the pro golfer shoots a 68. Training one tenth of the time, the Decathletes are shooting the equivalent of about a 74. Not going to win, but a very good golf score.

Don’t know if you noticed, but during the pole vault at the Olympics, Eaton soared over 17 feet. He will be an 18 foot vaulter sooner than later. That is huge. The pole vault is, by far, the biggest point-getter in the Decathlon.

Took an informal poll of the parents of my daughter’s soccer team after the Olympic Trials. These are well-educated, fit, sports-savvy folks. Want to know how many knew exactly who Ashton Eaton was? Zero. 

One or two had heard his name and then figured it out, but none of them knew the name of the American who had the world record going into the Olympics.

But all of them knew that Bruce Jenner was Kim Kardashian’s step father.