Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Happy Smores Day from San Diego, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

NBC would have to be bat-poop crazy and sister-humping stupid not to promote the hell out of Trey Hardee and Ashton Eaton's Decathlon. Trey Hardee looks like an action figure in a X-box war game and Ashton is a wildly buffed-out combination of Derek Jeter and Justin Timberlake.

If they do it right, Madison Ave. will sprout weapons-grade stiffies to market these two. They would make Reebok's Dan and Dave campaign look like an elementary school play. 

Before he descended to a Kardashian whore-clown, Bruce Jenner was an amazing Decathlete. Yes, he cheated with steroids, but not only did he engineer an almost masterful performance winning gold in 1976, he did a 80% good job of marketing himself afterwards. 

So the template exists. The good parts of Jenner minus the bad parts of Dan and Dave. 

It is hard for me to overstate what a world class tool Dwight Stones is. First of all, the guy choked in his big Olympic chance in 1976. He was "at" Long Beach State when I was there and, short of a terrorist, you cannot find a more horrible human being than Dwight Stones.

Secondly, he tried as hard as he could to get Trey Hardee kicked out of the Olympics by trying to selfishly scoop a non-story of Trey stepping on the line in the 400. (He didn't) Then Dwight- the- no-height basically pleaded for some pinhead official to file  a protest. 

If there was a drug test for ass-gobbler, Dwight Stones would test positive. 

When the US Olympians win gold, McDonalds customers win food prizes. That's like when our Navy Seals kill a terrorist, we get a shot at winning some free crack.