Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Leave it to those crafty Germans
(Thanks Snickity O'Snake)

Elton John was asked to explain why he came out of the closet. My guess is that his tiny dancer didn't want the bitch's back. 

Since you asked:

Man, generation 18-28, are you getting you skinny jeans asses kicked but good. Everyone from sociology professors to Louis C.K. to Aaron Sorkin all agree that you are the worst generation ever. Not just in the history of the US, but anywhere, anytime.  

Your lifetime of texting and getting pissed at cell phones not moving fast enough at the speed of light and your trophies-for-trying have made you the most insanely overly-entitled group of ass-chompers ever. You don't just do not appreciate what you have, you are seriously pissed it's not more.

Never has an entire generation demanded to be rich and famous without having any clue how to get there. You just assume you're going to Kim-Kardashian your wool-hat and thumb-ring wearing tuchus there.  And why wouldn't you? 

We are seeing "American Idol" contestants who win the singing career lottery and then quit because they think recording and touring is too damn hard.

My generation was the first to grow up without the threat of forced military service. My grandparents? WWI and depression. My parents? Depression, WWII. Next generation? Korean War, Vietnam.

That is why I am making a prediction. It is my belief that the 18-28's are going to blow us all away. Curing cancer, ending wars, halting poverty and starvation. Computer programs that add 50 IQ points to whoever uses it. Music that doesn't just stir the soul, but inspires us to do great things. Make a battery that ends pollution and dependence on oil.

That is why things like this give me so much hope. A bullfighter confronted with the kind eyes of a dying soul who, even though bleeding to death from his wounds, will not attack the bullfighter. He is suddenly consumed and overwhelmed by the inhumanity of what he is doing and collapses, not only never to bullfight again, but to crusade against it. 


The smartest girl in my class went to Stanford and I ended up at UCSB. Today she couldn't get into UCSB and I couldn't get in Long Beach State. 

There is hope. 

Just lose the fucking wool hats and skinny jeans.