Wednesday, July 11, 2012

On “Today” they unveiled the Olympic team’s opening day uniforms, which include a very snappy navy blue Ralph Lauren blazer and matching beret. This also marks the first time a straight man has uttered the words; a very snappy navy blue Ralph Lauren blazer and matching beret.

Since you asked:
If you were to go and rank the world's most evil people you are sort of obligated to start with murderous tyrants, Hitler, Stalin, Pol Pot. 

After that I would go with terrorists, pedophiles and serial killers.

Included in this group? Website designers. 

Not saying web site designers are as evil as murderous tyrants or pedophiles, but they are on the list. From the guys who designed Twitter and Facebook down to the website for you local laundry.

Each website designer thinks their website is the only one in the world, so it has to have very annoying and cumbersome passwords. More than seven letters, less than seven letters. 14 letters and two numbers. Capitals sensitive, no caps.  

Thus insuring nobody can remember all of their passwords. So when you type in a wrong password? It asks you to type in the two words you see. The problem? They are not words. They are shapes that cannot be typed in. Once you try? It kicks you off and you can't log back in.

You give it a user I.D. It takes it. You type in a password. It tells you the password is wrong. You get the password right? It tells you, "Sorry, but we already have that user I.D." No crap, I just gave it to you. 

OK, I'll get on the 1-800 number, you think. A recording asks you to say your account number. You do and it tells you that you are wrong. But you aren't wrong. You get put on hold for 20 minutes. A close relative of Apu comes on long enough to ask; "How can I be of assist . . ." and then the line goes dead. It hung up on you.  

There some useful ways to measure the douchebaggery of someone. Do they use the word literally a lot?  Are they rude to service people? How far do they stop in the crosswalk? How long do they take to pull out of a parking spot if they know someone is waiting for them? Do they have a hard to pronounce name and insist on it being pronounced correctly? How close do they tailgate? Do they design websites? Do they work at Nike? Have they ever used the words "Good note"? Are they vegans?