Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Viddy, Viddy, Viddy, didn’t do no hyooonse, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Saturday was Madrid’s Annual Naked Bicycle Ride day. And Sunday was the annual Don’t Buy a Used Bike in Madrid day.

Asked to comment how it felt to ride a bike naked down ancient cobblestone streets, one mans said; “Yaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh.”

Mitt Romney accused Barack Obama of being out of touch. Then Mitt left for his 4:00 PM caviar facial and then boarded his private jet for a flight to Stockholm to buy a Polo pony.

Congratulations to the Los Angeles Kings who won the Stanley Cup; it has to be tough for all those hard winter hockey towns to have the Kings win, like the Phoenix Coyotes, Tampa Bay Lightening and the Florida Panthers.

Lindsay Lohan is OK after totaling a Porsche. They did not say if drugs and alcohol were involved kind of like they didn’t say that stupidity and bad judgment were involved. 

Since you asked: 

My bad. I've gone too long without mentioning how much I hate Nike and the people who work there. Not gonna get my $100,000 silence bribe that way.

It goes all the way back to 1976. I bought my first pair of Nikes with what little money I had. The blue cheap nylon "running" shoes with the yellow swoosh and black waffle bottom. The first time you took a step sideways, you tore through the sides. Total crap.

So, like everyone else who owned these crappy shoes, I had the opinion that Nike really sucked. 

Two years later at UCSB, I have the honor of training for the Decathlon with the greatest track coach of all time, Sam Adams. And many of the elite Decathletes in the world and US trained there as well.

Most of the top Decathletes were sponsored by Adidas or Puma. To keep things simple in a German way, they just established a point limit you had to achieve - and maintain - to be sponsored. Adidas was 8,000 points and Puma was a little less. Way out of my range.

The Nike rep came groveling around the track and whined and whimpered to those top athletes to switch to Nike. (They wouldn't talk to us meager UCSB student Decathletes)

"Puma and Adidas don't care about you. They just see you as a number. Switch to the Nike family and we will care about you deeply as people as well as athletes." 

He must have convinced Sam, because the UCSB track team got free Nike spikes. They were so frail and fragile, many stuck with their own Adidas or Puma anyway. 

Although I was off to New York, I heard that a mere six years later, after establishing their foothold in track, Nike was far more picky and selective and judgmental and snottier with who they sponsored then Puma and Adidas ever were combined.

So much for that Nike family "We care deeply about you as people" crap.

Nike went on to invent and spread like a cancer the win-at-any-costs-even-if-you-cheat-with-performance-enhancing-drugs mentality that is strangling sports and killing everything about sports we love.  

As bad as most of the snotty hypocrites are at Nike, the worst are the legion of hardcore, vegan, camping, Nazi feminists who work for a company that supports known rapists and sexual attackers, like Kobe Bryant, Ben Roethlisberger and a sexual predator, Tiger Woods.

How do they sleep at night? 

But remember, this is a company co-founded by a guy who is such an out-of-touch stupid dick, Phil Knight, that Knight came out in support of a man who ignored a known child molester on his staff, Jerry Sandusky, in one Joe Paterno.   

You want some perspective of how little Nike thinks of their base consumers? Forget that they don't care about exploiting child laborers who make the shoes, they invented and support a culture where drug dealers and gang members kill each other for Nike shoes. 

And they openly continue with that practice launching a $5,000 shoe with Kanye West.  

So how long until Nike teams with Chris Brown and launches a shoe called the Air Punch Rihanna? 

Nike. What a bunch of sexist, douche-bag hypocrites, even back in the '80's.