Wednesday, May 23, 2012

In sad news, the inventor of the TV remote, Eugene Polley, passed at 96; they’re trying to find someone to get up and say a few words at his funeral, but nobody will get off of their lazy, fat ass to do it.

California is $8 billion in debt. Now when we have earthquakes the state is going to charge us each a $100 ground-based massage fee.

A Babe Ruth Yankee road jersey sold for $4.4 million; it makes the perfect Father’s day gift for that dad who wants to contract the clap from a 1920’s hooker.

A fourth masseur has accused John Travolta of sexual harassment ; not to go into details, but they’re claiming Travolta tried to do to them what “Battleship Earth” did to the studio that produced it.

Since you asked:
Just saw what a lot of the past “American Idol” top finishers are up to, and a lot have washed out of the music business. Good idea of how tough the rock star business really is. After combing through tens of thousands of contestants and painfully whittling it down to the most talented, they still produce a record that bombs and the label drops them.

Some of these people were just flat out idiots. Sanjaya fired six managers. Now he is a New York bartender sharing an apartment with three other dudes.While still trying to convince people he is not gay.

Clearly a few of them said they wanted to be rock stars but didn’t want to have to go to the trouble of recording songs in a studio and supporting the record with a tour. Really? What did you think being a rock star curtailed? Just getting the groupies and the checks?

It is a whole lot harder to be a record producer than it sounds. Glyn Johns - who also produced Led Zeppelin - had to be sold over and over again on the Eagles by David Geffen because he frankly didn't think they were any good.  

At the Gallery bar in Aspen, where he first saw them along with everyone else, Frey's voice microphone and guitar amp were tuned way up over everyone else drowning them out and he just repeated bad covers of B.B. King and Muddy Waters songs. All rhythm guitar and Frey's-then nasal-sounding voice. No sweet high singing notes from Randy Meisner nor his awesome lead bass, no lead guitar from Leadon and no velvet sandpaper from Henley's voice, just very unflashy back-beat drumming. 

When Johns got them in the studio he could see how great their harmonies were. The first song of their own the Eagles could play? On one of their many peyote trips out to Joshua Tree National park in search of musical inspiration, they passed these rock formations used in countless cowboy movies, so Bernie Leadon wanted to write power chords that sounded like the music the Westerns played when the Indians attacked from above.  

Frey and Henley wanted to write a nasty gotchya F.U. beyatches "Won't they be sorry" lyrical letter sticking it to to the hot women hanging out at the Troubador who wouldn't go out with them because they were skinny hippies who didn't have any money. 

Thus "Witchy Woman" was born.