OK, Hollywood, start stretching those hammies. Don't want you to pull a muscle sprinting to grab my latest treatment:

"A Stand Up Guy."

It is about a stand up comedian and stand up paddle boarder who is married with a kid, so he dispenses hilarious and priceless dating and grilling/cooking tips to young, single dude stand up surfer and comedian.   

It's "The Tao of Steve" meets "Blue Crush" meets Bobby Flay. But funny.  

The older guy and the younger guy are out at Malibu paddling for waves. Older guy says;

"The great thing about women over 30 is they don't give a crap about their number."

Younger guy:

"Their number?"

Older guy:

"How many dudes they've been with."


Younger guy;


"Oh. That number" 


Older guy:

"God forbid you meet a gorgeous 27-year-old who has been with nine guys. 'Cause she ain't letting you bust her into double figs unless you're Zach Efron with a Kobe Bryant diamond ring. "

This stuff writes itself.

Good news, guys. They found a cure for that nasty medical condition called Priapism, the erection that will not go away. See below: