Monday, March 19, 2012

The awesome Kathryn Hahn

This Manning character has given me such a headache . . .

Ohhhhh yeah, that’s the Stuff, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Mitt Romney is so rich now he straps his dog on top of a stretch limo.

A Florida woman was walking her dog when a bear bit her on the butt. But the bear did not eat her, he thought she tasted like ass.

Rick Santorum is so conservative, he thinks the missionary position is a stance on religious conversion.

In the NCAA tournament game dubbed “The Brain Bowl,” Vanderbilt beat Harvard 79-70. This game didn’t have trash talking, it had refuse-related verbal interaction.

In Washington, DC, George Clooney was arrested protesting outside of the Sudanese embassy; jail is about the only place where it isn’t good to be twice-named “People” magazine’s “Sexiest man alive.”

Clooney was taken to jail where he was booked, photographed, finger-printed, viciously sodomized and released.

Orlando Sanford airport is going to go with private security because they will be friendlier than TSA agents. Are they serious? Between the searching and the groping, TSA agents are friendlier than my date for the Junior Prom.

Since you asked:
Payton Manning to the Broncos? Maybe I’m an idiot, but I think if there is one guy who can figure out how to get the best out of Tim Tebow in an offense, it is probably Payton Manning.

Call it a Wildcat or a Mustang or an Armadillo offense for all I care. Manning will figure out how to get the rock to Tebow where he can do the most good. In some type of option/pass/run.

Got a new favorite actress. Kathryn Hahn.

She was such an awesome scorching weed-head beeyatch in "Our Idiot Brother" and she is so clipped, witty and hilarious in "Parks and Recreation."

Saw her on "TTSWJL" and she even has an adorable snort when she laughs.

As I have said in here before, there are two kinds of Midwestern women. The vast majority are funny, fun, down-to-earth, pretty, smart and great to party with, excuse my preposition.

The nasty minority are these evil, two-faced, hypocrite rabid Country Club social climbers like the unholy spawn of Martha Stewart and Hillary Clinton.

Hahn is a good example of the prior.