Thursday, March 15, 2012

They gettin’ stinky down in Hinkytown, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Has everyone completed their brackets for March Madness? Kim Kardashian has Gonzaga in the Semis, but in her case it’s an STD.

Japanese inventors have produced a gun that can silence people from 30 meters; it has worked well in testing, but now they are going to try it on the ultimate target: “The View.”

A West LA little league was saved by a $1,200 donation by a strip club; so the next game features the Westchester STD’s versus the Lennox Chlamydia’s.

Rick Santorum is so conservative, he thinks a dildo is a type of pickle.

Rick Santorum is so conservative, he thinks a Cincinnati Bow tie is a Bow Tie from Cincinnati

Rick Santorum is so conservative, he thinks a hand-job is manual labor.

Mitt Romney is having a hard time campaigning in the South; when offered collard greens Mitt said; “Excuse me, the term is African American greens.”

Rick Santorum is so conservative, he thinks a massage happy ending is when he doesn’t have to give a tip.

Ron Paul is having a tough time campaigning in the South; it brings back all the bad memories of when he fought in the Civil War.

March Madness is here and Harvard is in the NCAA tournament, but UCLA is not. That is like a hot dog eating contest where Joey Chestnut is replaced by Ashley Olsen.

Since you asked:

Here is one thing I can tell you about the NCAA tournament. Although Long Beach is not my favorite town, Long Beach State’s team is a bunch of bracket busters. The snooty East coast and the know-it-all Midwest hoops experts know ti-ti, very little, about the Beach. That Casper Ware is a beast and flat out beat up on my beloved UCSB Gauchos.

Look for an upset over Louisville and maybe more.