Thursday, June 16, 2011

One word: scary
Flex it and text it, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Sunday is Father’s Day. Or as Arnold Schwarzenegger calls it: Pass Over.

Rep. Anthony Weiner finally resigned. Asked to comment, comedians across the country said; “Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.”

Anthony Weiner’s porn star, Ginger Lee, hired feminist attorney Gloria Allred. Gloria Allred out to destroy a Weiner using the media. What else is new?

The Greek economy is in bad shape. To give you an idea how bad, little Greek boys are making jokes about the Greek stock market taking it in the shorts.

The reason Newt Gingrich’s campaign staff all quit was because of his third wife, Callista. To give you some idea how frosty and difficult Callista is, compared to Callista, Hillary Clinton looks like Oprah.

The winners of the Republican debate are reported to be Mitt Romney and Michelle Bachman. Don’t Mitt and Michelle look like the couple holding hands in the hilltop bathtubs in the Cialis commercial? Don’t Mitt and Michelle look like the married real estate agents on the bus bench ad?

Newt Gingrich’s campaign staff quit because of his third wife, Callista. Now, I don’t want to imply Callista is a difficult gold digger, but remember that $500,000 tab Newt ran up at Tiffany’s? Callista called it foreplay.

Congratulations to the Boston Bruins who beat the Vancouver Canucks to win the Stanley Cup. Angry Vancouver fans rioted after the game. Well, not really rioted, they’re polite Canadians, but they did throw down their wool hats and rather loudly comment: “Darn it, eh.”

Newt Gingrich’s campaign staff quit because of his third wife, Callista. Now, I don’t want to imply Callista has had work done on her face, but she once beat Nancy Pelosi in a starring contest.

The Boston Bruins beat the Vancouver Canucks in the Stanley Cup and angry Vancouver fans rioted. Throughout the playoffs, the Vancouver fans have been described as drunk, rowdy and classless. In fact, Canuck is an Eskimo word that means: Andy Dick. 

Since you asked:

Here is all I need to know about the Anthony Weiner situation. At his final resignation it seemed sort of sad that a guy who wanted his job so much and truly cared for his constituency would have to resign.

It wasn’t sad.

In a million years, I would never, ever A, take a picture of my junk, and B, send it to somebody. Not if I had some – god forbid – terrible illness and a doctor demanded that I do it. And, not to brag, I am not ashamed of anything in the least.

And I am so dumb I once had a foot in the door at the ground level of the California computer industry – two years of corporate computer sales to law firms and the military – but, in 1983, I decided there was no future in California computer companies, so I left to work on Wall Street. A job, I might add, that has since been replaced by a frigging computer.

As stupid as I am, I would not send anyone an inappropriate text picture. So how stupid is Weiner?

It is easy to see I am going to have fun with Callista Gingrich as long as that scary witch is around. What is more fun to hate than a snotty, rude, arrogant, pompous, greedy, shallow and power mad gold digger? Shakespeare tried as hard as he could to make Lady Macbeth sympathetic and the greatest writer who ever lived failed. Lady Macbeth is loathed as the very name and word for power mad crazy evil shrews.

Let us not forget, lest one thinks I am being too hard on the current Bitch Gingrich, she was having an affair with Newt on his second wife while Newt's wife was battling M.S. (Newt left his first wife while having an affair with the eventual second, and served her the divorce papers while she was in the hospital battling uterine cancer)