Monday, June 13, 2011

Congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks for beating the Miami Hate, er, Heat.Very classy how Mav's Dirk Nowitzky did not mimic Dwayne Wade and LeBron James's choking.

LeBron tells his haters to get a life. Haters tell LeBron their life is like his. They don't have an NBA trophy either.

Since you asked:
It is no accident the most asinine statements come from Nike stabled athletes. The corporate culture has its head so far up its own butt, they have to kiss their own ass to get to kissing the athlete's asses.

From Kobe to Ben Roethlisberger, to Tiger Woods, to Michael Vick to now LeBron, the mentality is that everyone with Nike is a world savior and can do no wrong. Especially the athletes. So sure, LeBron, hold a TV show flaunting your hometown betrayal. Want to sit in your undies, eat Coco Puffs and play Xbox while every bimbo in the country rats out your pimping? Go ahead, Tiger, good idea.

Here is my question: how soon is Nike going to sign Anthony Weiner? It is a perfect fit.

Here is what would happen if Nike had someone who had at least heard a rumor about a sense of humor.

(Close up of Mark Cuban and Dirk Nowitzky's ecstatic champagne soaked faces)

Cuban: "Dirk, buddy, it goes without saying I am so proud of you."

Dirk: "Gosh, Mark, thanks so much, you're a great owner."

(Slowly pan back to reveal locker in back)

Cuban: "No, I mean it, I know I pay you a lot, but you deserve it."

Dirk: "You are a generous man and we appreciate it."

(Camera now far back enough to reveal Cuban is dangling from his jockeys from a locker room hook)

Cuban: "So, could you maybe let me down. My briefs are starting to ride up a bit."

(Dirk shakes his head and walks away)

Cuban: "Anyone?" What about that little short guy? Yo, J.J. Help out a player."

(ESPN, contact me)