The third album cover for my band The Snoring Puppies

Guess who is a big World Cup fan? Osama bin Laden. Well, this is just the thing to sway American sports fans who were on the fence about liking soccer.




It has been a tough time for Cleveland sports fans, first the Cleveland Browns left for Baltimore, then LeBron James leaves for Miami, and, worst of all, the Cleveland Indians won’t go anywhere.





In Atlanta, a US Airways flight was diverted back to the gate when maggots fell down on passengers from an overhead compartment; the airline had no choice but to charge the passengers a $50 Pest Extermination fee.





In an embarrassing display of vanity and egomania, LeBron James televised his decision to dump his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers to play for the Miami Heat. For Cleveland fans it was like a reality show filming your prom date leaving with the homecoming king.




Rumor has it Lance Armstrong’s Tour De France sponsor, Radio Shack, is running out of funds. Insiders say in order to keep Lance on the Tour, Radio Shack will have to sell a lot more phone modems, fax machines and hand-held calculators.




LeBron James televised his decision to dump his hometown Cleveland Cavaliers to play for the Miami Heat. It was the most shameful display of egomania and vanity since Rod Blagojevich pitched a reality show for his hair.



Listening to the World Cup English announcers drove home the expression we really are two people separated by a common language.




We call it a field, they call it a pitch.


We call it zero, they call it nil.


We call them soccer shoes, they call them boots.


We call them cleats, they call it studs.


We call it soccer, they call it football


We get in a line, they get in a que


We call it a uniform, they call it a kit


We call it angry, the call it agro.


We call it tired, they call it a spot of bother or knackered.


We say we like something, they fancy it.


We say: “There you go” they say “Bob’s your Uncle.”