F.Y.I. Michael Vick will not be playing for these Eagles. P.S. I hate it when people say F.Y.I.

Anyone question the power music has with women? These guys got laid . . . a lot.

Michael Vick has signed a deal with the Philadelphia Beagles, err, Eagles. Eagles opponents are now brushing up on their mad dog blitzing schemes.

To clarify, Michael Vick will be playing for the NFL Philadelphia Eagles, not the band. The Eagles band expressed less interest in Vick than the band Three Dog Night.


A Russian woman was arrested this week after she threw a coffee mug at the Mona Lisa in Paris. Turns out the woman threw the mug because she was upset she didn't get French citizenship. When French officials heard about this incredibly thoughtless, annoying and obnoxious act, they immediately granted her full French citizenship.

Michael Vick signing with the Eagles means with Philadelphia QB Donovan McNabb, Vick could come in as a second QB in a version of the Wildcat offense. Or in this case it would be a Wilddog offense.

What are the chances animal right groups, like PETA, will let Vick alone? About less than the chance of pigs sprouting wings and becoming carrier pigeons.

President Barack Obama assured critics that his health care proposal would not pull the plug on grandma. But that bitter, cheap great Uncle everyone hates? He’s toast.

The President of ABC in under fire because he said Paula Abdul is a huge talent and if Fox doesn’t want her, ABC “would love to get a piece of that.” One feminist group is so upset they had to cancel their Simon Cowell Look-alike Contest.

Electric guitar inventor Les Paul passed away. Can you imagine? Without Les Paul there would be no music from the Beatles, Rolling Stones, Eric Clapton. On the upside, there wouldn’t be any music from the Jefferson Starship.