Since you Torn Whores and Nugget Ranchers asked:

About my dog Kasey. (Actually, she prefers the term Labrador American to dog)

My yellow lab Kasey is an awesome dog. I know, everyone thinks their dog is awesome, but Kasey really is. Trust me, I am not one of these pet owners who attributes human qualities to animals when they don't exist, specifically like cat owners. "See how Fluffy ignores me when I call her? That is because she is sooooo smart." Listen, cat owners, if doing nothing was a sign of intelligence, I would be Albert Frickin' Einstein. Or is it Einstien? You get the point.

But my dog is smart. Her defined eyebrows and wrinkled brow give her a permanent look of worried concern. Picture somene who has just been told the kitchen ran out of their order, and that is my dog's expression.

Drinking tip:

They say that wine is good for you. In that case, I should live to be about 167. If you start to think you may be drinking too much, do what I did. Redefine the definition of an alcoholic. In my book an alcoholic is anyone and everyone who drinks more than I do. See how well that works?