If this was a just world, I would get diarrhea as many times as I have spelled it correctly. 


New England Patriot tight end, Rob Gronkowski, just bought a stake in a race horse named Gronkowski. To keep from confusing Rob during the transaction, they referred to the horse named Gronkowski as Horsey Gronk. 



Ex-Raider, Aldon Smith, blew an amazing .41 on his blood-alcohol-content, five times the legal limit. Part of the Raiders new motto: Just Gin, Baby.

(Assist, Marko Snake) 



Stormy Daniels's real name is Stephanie Gregory. She wanted a weather term and a whisky. Stormy Daniels is much better than her first idea: Muggy Knob Creek.