Plagiarism, schmagiarism, I am a buffalo in North Dakota, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It is hot, I am sweating like Melania Trump’s speech writer. 

R. Iowa Rep., Stephen King, made controversial comments about white people. King now claims he was plagiarizing someone. 

The Trump campaign denies that his wife, Melania, copied parts of a '08 Michelle Obama speech at the RNC. In fact, Melania wanted to thank her speech writer, Carl. Carl Cutanpaste. 

(There are a lot of cut and paste jokes, as one would expect, but this one is mine) 

The Trump campaign denies his wife, Melania, copied parts of a Michelle Obama speech at the RNC. Let’s give Melania a break. English is her second language. Her first language is Prenuptial. 

The bad news is it looks like whoever wrote Melania Trump’s speech copied it from Michelle Obama’s '08 speech. The good news? They did pick a good speech to copy. 

Despite the controversy, let’s not forget the message of Melania Trump’s well-told speech: If you work hard, good things will happen. But if you want great things to happen, you have to be smoking hot. 

Forget the plagiarism, Melania Trump giving a speech on the virtue of hard work is like Bill Cosby extolling the virtue of foreplay.

The Trump campaign denies that his wife, Melania, copied parts of a Michelle Obama speech at the RNC. I’m not so sure. Especially when Melania yelled, “Can I get a what-what, Barack baby?” 

Let’s think about this: unemployed billionaire supermodel, Melania Trump, hired speech writers who stole her a speech on the importance of what? Hard work.

The Trump campaign denies his wife, Melania, copied parts of Michelle Obama’s speech at the RNC. If you’re a Trump speech writer, A, do not steal speeches, B, really do not steal any Obama speeches.

Forget the plagiarism, am I the only one offended by how Melania Trump was mocking how much Romanians sound like vampires? 

(another obvious one)