Sunday, May 24, 2015

Las Vegas got hit with a 5.4 earthquake on Friday. It was bad. If Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao had been fighting during a 5.4 earthquake, it would have shaken them so hard they might have accidentally hit each other.

There was a 5.4 earthquake in Las Vegas, Friday. It was so strong, it actually shook Charlie Sheen off of a hooker.

Ireland became the first nation to legalize gay marriage. The old Irish expression, Erin Go Bragh, really means: You go, Lady Gaga.

In Berlin, a 65-year-old woman, Annegret Raunigk, had quadruplets. She has a lot of serious crying and diaper changing ahead of her. And that is just her husband.

The babies names are Ich Bin Zu and Alt which is German for I am too old.

Congratulations to the Indy 500 winner, Juan Pablo Montoya. And his racing team called; “You killed my father, prepare to die.”

Las Vegas got hit with a 5.4 earthquake on Friday. To show you how strong that is, if Donald Trump had been in the Trump Hotel, his hair would have moved.

In Boston, over 100 people showed up for a “Free Tom Brady” rally. “Four games does seem like a long suspension for possible ball tampering,” said an NFL player on steroids who was slapping his girlfriend while driving drunk.

Ireland became the first nation to legalize gay marriage. It is only fair. The poor gay men in Ireland have had to put up with all the “Patrick Fitzgerald and Gerald Fitzpatrick” gay jokes for 50 years.

Although he is not gay, Conan O'Brien would like to personally congratulate all the gay men in Ireland who look and sound exactly like him.

(This is for my good friends at Conaco) 

Since you asked:

Who else is thrilled by the success of Chris Pratt? With an entertainment world that lavishes wealth and fame on the likes of untalented and unappreciative a-holes like Justin Bieber, Paris Hilton, all things Kardashian and Kristen Stewart, it is nice to see a nice guy and a genuine talent like Chris Pratt hit it big.

From the time I saw him as a glorified extra on “Parks and Recreation” playing Rashida Jones’s lovably moronic boyfriend, he was a favorite of mine. It was when Pratt’s character, Andy, had two leg-casts from walking into a giant hole – twice – and was scratching his nether regions with a back- scratcher while rolling his eyes in ecstasy, well, I knew he was a comedy-acting great. With a big heart. (Producers of "PAR" saw it too and made CP a star character) 

When it comes to tradition and history, Anaheim is to hockey what talent is to the Kardashians. (Just kidding true Duck fans. They have a Stanley Cup win)

Had a great sports week/weekend. Saw both Cubs wins at Petco. My daughter and her two relay teams qualified for CIF finals in all four events, 4 X 100, 200, 400 and 4 X 400.  And then a Blackhawks O.T. win.