First random thoughts of 2014

“I’ve got a great idea. Write 2013 in the sand closer to the waves with 2014 above it and film the wave washing out 2013,” said every local news assistant producer in the country.

There are three kinds of people in the world: those with a big shopping cart full of groceries who let people with only a couple of items go in front of them and those who don’t. And then there is the lady with a full cart who cut in front of me with my two items. That one is a bitch.

The nicest thing you can say about fish and cheese is that it doesn’t taste like fish and cheese. Nicest thing you can say about a cat is that it acts like a dog.

Here’s hoping talking becomes the new texting.

Whoever combined waffles and fried chicken? Well done, my friend, well done.

Here’s hoping the gay community votes “Duck Dynasty’s” Phil Robertson as the 2014 Bear of the Year.