Tuesday, December 10, 2013

A new study reveals Reindeer can catch herpes; another study reveals, no matter how much you hate your job, it is better than the guy who did the study on Reindeer herpes.
There is a cold snap all over the country. It was so cold in Malibu, Bruce Jenner’s face cracked.

Assault charges were dropped against Aaron Ralston, the rock-climbing-guy who self-amputated his arm depicted in the film “127 Hours,” after an altercation with his girlfriend; among the reasons the assault charges were dropped? He was unarmed.


What I love about comedy:

The first and last time I flew Spirit Airlines - yes, the flight was very cheap -  from the second you arrive at the gate until you de-plane at your destination, the Spirit employees are not just nasty, they are angrily attempting to extort money from you. 
When I missed a flight back from Chicago to San Diego because the plane came in from Detroit earlier than expected, and they didn't bother to announce it, the Spirit employee at the gate did not look up from leafing through her magazine when she told me;
"Looks like you're out of luck." 
The only people in the world who hate Spirit Airlines more than the people who fly Spirit Airlines are the people who work at Spirit Airlines. They are the customer service equivelent of the DMV*.
So now, every chance I get, whenever a business is accused of questionable business practices, I write a joke about them not being nearly as bad as Spirit Airlines. At last count, about five have made it on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." 




*One of my favorite little games with myself is when I go to the DMV. Last time I had to renew my license, I made it a vow to be as funny as I possibly could and crack jokes to every employee you meet along the line. With one exception, the employees at the DMV in San Diego are so hilariously humorless and detached, I was laughing out loud at their non-plussed reactions. Picture me as the Gieco Camel asking the employees what day Wednesday is.