Check the wheezy with the squeezy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

In Maine, a man was charged with turning a gym into a brothel. Talk about needing to wipe-down the equipment after you use it.

Harvard qualified for the NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship. So Harvard needs to work on their trash talking. So far all they have is; “If you were attempting to refrain me from implementing additional points, you were quite unsuccessful.   

Did you remember to set your clocks ahead one hour? Everyone loses one hour. So, including the Academy Awards show, this makes five hours we’ve lost.

She’s OK, but Kim Kardashian had a health scare; they were worried when her brain scan registered negative, but then they remembered: she’s Kim Kardashian.

Actor Sean Penn and Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, attended the funeral of Chile’s President, Hugo Chavez. One is a tiny, evil tyrant who hates the US, the other is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. 

Since you asked;

Happy 55th to "Foxhole" Woody.

Re-watched "History of the Eagles" again and it hit me why I was so nutso about the Eagles in high school and college. Besides they played great music and anyone who disagrees is just taking a dick-head stance, like the Dude in "The Big Lebowski."

There is no arguing the greatness of the Stones, Beatles, Led Zeppelin, the Who. But to us suburban Chicago kids, they may have well have been from the moon. Nobody really looked like Mick Jagger. Nobody knew anyone named Mick. They may have tried to look like Mick Jagger, but they didn't. 

Whereas the Eagles were the cool guys table in the high school cafeteria. The jock, the guy who threw the wild parties, the funny guy, the guy who dated the hot chick and the guy in a band. 

Long hair, aviator sun glasses, football jersey, blue jeans and cowboy boots, that was my college uniform for my first two years. 


Let's play a round of "Doing it Right? Doing it wrong?"

Doing it right? Jennifer Lawrence. Doing it wrong? Kristen Stewart.

Doing it right? Adidas. Doing it wrong? Nike.

Doing it right? Tiger Woods yesterday. Doing it wrong? Tiger Woods from yesterday to Thanksgiving '09.

Doing it right? Justin Timberlake. Doing it wrong? Kanye West.

Doing it right? Amy Poehler and Tina Fey hosting Golden Globes. Doing it wrong? Seth McFarland, Oscars.

Doing it right? Whole Foods. Doing it wrong? Rite Aid.

Doing it right? Fed Ex. Doing it wrong? USPS.

Doing it right? Wayne Gretzky. Doing it wrong? Lance Armstrong.