Herr Doktor, you vere haffing a nichtmare, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

It is so cold in Indiana, at Notre Dame, Manti Te'o is dating an imaginary eskimo.

For the first time in as long as anyone can remember, it rained at Torrey Pines for the Farmers Open, and the rich La Jolla locals are not happy. One resident kept asking; 

"What is this devil's magic that causes mineral water to drop from the sky?"

It rained so much, La Jolla resident, Mitt Romney, had to throw a tarp over the dog crate on top of his car. 


Since you asked:

The awesome Mark O'Snake and those un-awesome little butt-smooch weasels at Nike are going to make me say it, aren't you? Ok, I give, I give. Golf tournaments are a lot more fun when Tiger Woods is leading. There. Happy? 

Thought I had lived. But I hadn't lived. 'Cause  you haven't lived until you've seen your adorable puppy, Wally, poop out your daughter's Adidas sock with your own eyes. 

To anyone who cares, and I am not sure anyone does, but while you watch the Farmer's Open, my two surf spots are just to the North at Torrey Pines beach, and to the South at Scripps/La Jolla Shores.