Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Will and Kate canoodling in America's hat

They’s all backsliders, scofflaws, firebrands, miscreants and reprobates, is what they is, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Wow, that jury must have really swallowed that Casey Anthony attorney’s close:

“If the hick is a twit, you must acquit.”

French President Nicolas Sarkozy was greeting the public when an attacker grabbed his jacket nearly pulling Sarkozy to the ground. The attacker was subdued but not before Sarkozy surrendered himself and France.

The rumor in the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case is he received oral sex from the maid, but she got mad when he would not pay her. They could not agree on a price, he was looking to pay her somewhere between Hugh Grant and Elliot Spitzer money, but she was holding out for that Charlie Sheen cash.

The Duke and Duchess, William and Kate are coming to Los Angeles. I’m a little nervous for William, Kate said she would like to have a USC frat boy give her a tour of a rooftop.

The rumor in the Dominique Strauss-Kahn case is he received oral sex from the maid, but she got mad when he would not pay her. Sorry, that’s the reason Crystal Harris broke off the marriage to Hugh Hefner. My bad.

The Fourth of July Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest has added a women’s division. Here is the best news guys: they’re all single.

The rumor is that al Qaeda is broke. Being a terrorist is expensive. Charlie Sheen couldn’t afford to keep two porn stars, imagine how much it costs keeping 72 virgins?

You notice how they are always called porn stars? How come it’s never a porn character actor?

Exxon had an oil pipe rupture in Montana, but Exxon announced the oil spill damage was limited. Which in oil executive talk means: Nowhere near any of our summer homes.

Did you have a good Fourth of July? A day devoted to consuming alcohol and igniting barbeques and explosives. What could possibly go wrong?

Joey Chestnut won the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest downing 62 hot dogs. Chestnut won $10,000 which should just about cover his upcoming medical and plumbing expenses.

In Canada, Prince William landed an amphibious helicopter on the water. To which Hudson river-landing Captain “Sully” Sullenberger said; “Landing a slow-moving helicopter with giant pontoons on a still lake. Wow, how impressive.”

Since you asked:

Wow, is the Casey Anthony defense team and jurors unprepared for the poop storm coming from the court of public opinion. That one pompous bearded attorney, J. Cheney Mason, had the grande go-neenies to lecture the press on biased reporting. How about a lecture on fat, sleazy attorneys who take money to let child murderers go free?

When these idiots try to pimp their books on talk shows, they will get booed out of the studio.

The social media is unanimously furious over the verdict. When Kim Kardashian, whose father helped get OJ off, was incensed, that says something. That's like Joey Chestnut getting upset over someone's bad table manners.

Although I sympathize with the frustration with the verdict, this case did boil down to the fact the prosecution could not prove Anthony murdered her baby, poor Caylee. Yes, she probably did it, but that is not enough to warrant a conviction. Is Casey Anthony a horrible human and probably a child killer? Yes. Is she a blatant liar? Yes, the defense did not fight this. They just hammered that the prosecution could not prove it was murder.

Hard as it is to believe, I worked with a crazy selfish bitch who was despondent over having a child from a divorce. She desperately wanted to be out ho’ing it out and she bitterly resented the child to the point where I remember worrying about the safety of that child. Although ultimately not a murderer, like Casey, this heartless bitch did send her kid to live with her mother so she could tramp it up all over town.

As humans, we hold a mother's love of her child in the highest order. When that love is betrayed, we react with hate and anger that is instinctive, visceral, genetic.

Sadly, in our epidemic of entitlement and rampant selfishness, this Caylee Anthony tragedy will happen again.