While I love the dumb movie, here are some snarky notes on “Love Actually.”



Chiwetel and Keira did not have many guests at their wedding. Most were the musicians planted by the “Walking Dead” sheriff best man.

How did the music for “Jump (For my Love)"  Hugh Grant dances to go from the radio to the entire rest of 10 Downing?

How did Jack not get, um, aroused in his naked poses with Just Judy?

Laura Linney - bless your heart taking care of your bonkers brother - but let that call go and boink Karl.

While the cue cards were cute, let’s not forget “Walking Dead” sheriff was flirting with his best friend’s newlywed wife. And she kissed him. Slut.

Billy Mack and Joe? Who watches porn with another dude? Blagh. 

Forget making copies, have you heard of a laptop computer, Colin Firth? 

Hugh, don’t be so quick to forgive Plumpy, she made it out with that dick US President. 

Good job learning the drums, Sam, but sorry, your mousey little runt ass does not stand a chance with that American singer, her no back teeth not withstanding. 

Colin and all those scorching babes in a random Wisconsin tavern? Now that shit is real.