Thursday, January 17, 2019

In Florida, a woman was caught with four stolen Rolex watches in her vagina worth $108,000. 

That isn't the shocking part. The Rolexes were still on the wrists of the guys who wore them.



Since you asked:

Will never forget the eerie feeling I got when Virg and I were getting ready to leave the hospital with Ann Caroline. 

It felt like I was getting away with stealing something incredibly valuable and I was not sure I was ready to get away with it. 

"OK, I am putting the Hope Diamond in the car in case someone wants to know. Not really sure how I am going to deal with the responsibility of having the Hope Diamond in case someone who knows better wants to intercede. No? OK. Sure? 

Going to get in the car and just drive off. Me and Virg, with this amazing thing we do not know how to handle. At all. Here we go. No fooling. We are going to drive the six or seven miles to our home now. And here we go."


Meanwhile, in the twitterverse


"I have a new nickname for the current crop of @realDonaldTrump hating, wall-averse Democrats: “The Wimpy Democrats.”  I mean like Wimpy from the old “Popeye” cartoons:  "We will gladly give you border security Tuesday for legalizing another 11 million illegal immigrants today!"

- Mike Huckabee’s tweet



"Yo, cha-cha. An arcane reference to an antiquated cartoon character, vis-a-vis an ironic throw-back to a hamburger-loving slob president is tres-gauche bodacious mendacity bordering on the maudlin, n'est-ce pas, babe? 

Screw it. Who wants pie?"


- Dennis Miller’s critique of Huckabee’s lame attempt at humor