Sunday, February 23, 2014

Don't even try to think about it as a person or as a human being, you know what I'm sayin', Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers? 

An Atlantic City casino security camera shows Baltimore Ravens running back, Ray Rice, dragging his unconscious fiancé out of an elevator right after punching her. And a gay man would be a problem in an NFL locker room. 
Hundreds of thousands of Hot Pockets had to be recalled due to meat that failed an inspection. How would you like that title? Hot Pocket Meat Inspector.
The World Clown Association - yes, there is such a thing - claims there is a shortage of clowns; they can’t compete against Justin Bieber, Rob Ford and the US Congress.
An online dating profile reveals women respond 31% more favorably to men who use the word whom. As in; 
“I am the man whom they call billionaire.” 

A Denver high school teacher is back in school after donating her kidney to a student. The bad news is she did it so she could keep having sex with him.

Barry Bonds is going to be a hitting instructor for the San Francisco Giants. Let's just hope all of that attention and power doesn't give Barry a big head.

Since you asked: 

 Got the latest “Swimsuit” issue of “Sports Illustrated’ and believe me, I am not complaining. This issue proves you cannot un-hot a hot young girl in a bikini. Get them wet, oily, greasy, sandy, muddy, dirty, sweaty or even stick them in outer space, they are still hot.

But what I also noticed is that it is almost impossible to distinguish the photo shoots from the ads. This is a disturbing trend I am noticing everywhere. On Facebook, there are a ton of ads and I didn’t “friend” any of all those real estate companies that keep putting up posts. I’m getting more sales pitches on Twitter.
The advent of DVR’s has forced commercials to get tricky. Now we speed through the commercials and the companies know this. That is why you see so many logos in the background of “American Idol” and other shows. Product placement has become a joke about a joke with a picture of a joke placed in an ad about the joke.
The NFL has figured out how to get sponsors for every single aspect of the game. Their sponsors have sponsors. 
That is why I – and all the good people - here at “A little Bit bad” promise you, the reader, there will never, ever be any ads weaseled into our content.
Until somebody (Nike?) offers to pay to do it . . .  

It is hard to believe the winter Olympics are over; a clean-up crew will be mopping up at the Olympic village for weeks. But enough about the Russian hockey team.
Although he did great during his combine interviews, Michael Sam, the first openly gay NFL prospect, did not do well on his strength and speed tests. The NFL is fairly open-minded in one regard: if you can run a 4.4 40 and bench press 225 30 times, you can be engaged to a Kreemorian Fangor-beast.
Saw a fascinating photo sequence of NFL players off-season workouts and they are amazing. Swinging heavy chains and ropes, dumbbells while balancing on inflated rubber balls, run the rope ladder, running in water, running uphill, running with a parachute. Running BACKWARDS on a treadmill. 
Flipping a giant tractor tire. Swinging kettle bells. Kinetic stretching, core exercises, state-of-the-art scientific hydration and nutrition. Followed by intense pressure massage and back adjustments from a physical therapist. And then into the ice bath.
You lifted weights? Eat this organic tuna or salmon or egg whites. You focused on aerobic endurance? Eat this homemade pasta with locally grown veggies. Tired? How about green tea and this agave and kale salad. Dessert? How about this fat-free yogurt and fruit. And not the sugary frozen yogurt either.
When we worked out in the mid Seventies – those few of us who did - we did wind-sprints or jogged three miles. Weights?  Bench pressed, squats and clean and jerks. Maybe a few dumbbell curls for the beach. Our ice bath was Lake Michigan.

And we drank Old Style beer and ate McDonalds hamburgers. This explains why six-pack abs belonged to about five people and one of them was Jim Brown.