Thursday, July 05, 2012

This right here our little cuddle bunny, Mister Wrigley T. 

At the Track and Field Olympic trials in Eugene, Oregon, Mark Block, a man banned from track for 10 years for peddling steroids, was seen leaving the Nike VIP tent. That’s not surprising, Nike has condoned steroid use. In the ‘90’s they launched a shoe called the Air Tiny Nuts. 

(Thank you, John Snake)  

Did everyone have a good Fourth of July? Texas Gov. Rick Perry didn't. He forgot to mark the date down on his calendar.  

A new study claims that sex and lust can turn into love. See that, Barbara Walters, we can make this crazy thing of ours work.

Since you asked, Nike version: 
The one thing you have to keep in mind when you hear these countless idiotic and immoral atrocities occurring at Nike, is that Nike is built in the image of its egomaniac, moronic, immoral, a-hole, evil and downright stupid co-founder, Phil Knight.

Phil Knight looks like the devil if the devil was mentally challenged. Michael Jordan himself – who practically saved Nike singlehandedly – despised the guy. Everybody did.

Besides being at the right place at the right time with the only running shoe in the US at the start of the running boom, Phil Knight hasn’t done anything right since. He hated the name Nike, he hated the swoosh logo. Knight fought against the idea of product marketing Nikes in movies. In the Seventies, Nike came within an inch of losing their loan at Bank of America and going out of business at their start because Knight bounced payroll checks.

Their shoe manufacturer CEO in Japan had to fly over with a check in his hand, like the rich daddy coming to bail out the bratty kid, to save their sorry asses. Phil Knight has almost run that company into the ground ten times. He just keeps falling down in poop and coming up smelling like roses.

At one point in the Eighties, Nike appointed someone on their board to not only not do what Phil Knight proposed, but to do the exact opposite. Whenever they executed the exact opposite of what Phil Knight wanted, it resulted in an explosion of money and good public relations.

Yes, I know from experience the Nike Beaverton campus is chocked full of greedy, egomaniacs, hypocrite ass-munchers, but somebody is doing something right if they have survived so well with an inept dork like that utter tool, Phil Knight, on the board.

Nike, now it is $250,000 to shut me up. This is too much fun. Now, I'm not a lawyer, but I think how this works is I am protected under freedom of speech from any legal action by Nike. If I falsely accuse them of something, like  privately sponsoring Casey Anthony, then maybe they have a case. But everything I have said is true or opinion.

But once they pay me $250,000 hush money, then we have a contract and if I say something  outside of the non-disclosure agreement, that is actionable.  

Your move, Nike. 

This sounds like a joke, and it mostly is, but I know that the cult paranoia at Nike is so off the charts that somebody has put this blog on their radar. The same offer goes to Tiger Woods and Paris Hilton, but they are too cheap and self-absorbed to see it. And it is very small. 

But the threat of going viral is always there.

Not that Nike isn't self-absorbed, they are, but they are also obsessed about their image. They have a five story building full of attorneys out to find anyone or anything saying something negative about Nike.