Thursday, November 03, 2011

And a little equal-time Laird-candy for the laaaaaaaadies.


Happy National Sandwich Day. Our American fat-asses need a National Sandwich Day like France needs a National Don't-Shower Day.

In Warsaw, a pilot landed a giant Boeing jet without his landing gear so smoothly, many passengers did not notice. There was an awkward moment when they asked the Polish pilot when he knew the wheels would not come out and he said; "It has wheels?"

You can tell Kim Kardashian is upset about her divorce by the way she is jetting off to Australia to promote her clothing line. It is the first clothing line that has shorts available in Large, Extra-Large and Kardashiantic.

The Chicago Cubs fired their manager, Mike Quade. Or as this move is known in baseball terms: Rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Is it just me, or does Rick Perry look like the Cadillac salesman who calls everyone Boss?

A word to the wise for Herman Cain. This year you might want to dispense with your Christmas; "Hey, I'm Herman and I've got a candy cane for you" line.

Since you asked:

"Well, I am all caught up with Bravo's "Top Chef," said no straight person besides me.

And I can prove I am straight because I think that Padma Lakshmi is hot, hot, hot. (duh) No really. When she is on camera I cannot take my eyes off of her. Its different from Marissa Miller or Heather Graham where you eyes and brain can quickly register, oh, OK, smoking hot, don't have to look anymore.

With Padma she is exotic and unique enough to keep you going back to try and figure out how beautiful she is. Yes, that arm-scar thing is cool, and she is rocking a nuclear meltdown hot body. But she has the wide doe eyes and the pouty mouth and great hair.

Rowowowow.

Do you think Kim Kardashian has any idea how Tiger-Woods-like graveyard dead she is as a celebrity? No way.

Her 72-day divorce is one of those seismic episodes that goes way beyond the story itself down to where people really get pissed off. Paris Hilton-like pissed off hatred.

To stage an $11 million dollar wedding televised on "E" and then blow off the marriage 72 days later reveals a selfishness, shallowness, greediness and downright stupid bitchiness that we, prior to this, could only get a hint of its virtually unprecedented size and scope of its total a-holeness.

In short, Kim, we knew you were a stupid, spoiled, selfish beeeyatch, but we put up with it because it was slightly entertaining. Now that is goner than a gone thing that is way gone.

To put it another way, Kim has now taken that short but quick public relations death-spiral from fun-to-hate, like Lindsay Lohan, to we-hate-her-way-too-much-for-it-to-be-fun Paris Hilton.