This just in:

An Austrian university is in trouble for using corpses as crash test dummies. Man, the news keeps getting worse and worse for Ted Williams.

An inevitable but, nonetheless, embarrassing thing happened today. Pat O’Brien accidentally made a dirty phone sex call to Bill O’Reilly.

Star Jones had her birthday this week. Star Jones celebrated by blowing out her candles as well as the chair she sat in.

Actor Tom Sizemore has been sentenced to jail for failing seven drug tests while on probation. Seven. I’m not an expert, but I’m starting to think Sizemore may have a problem.

He failed seven drug tests. Or as Whitney Houston calls seven failed drug tests, last week.