Thursday, March 24, 2005

No, she ain’ no holla back girl, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

Take two
Rumor has it they are planning on a movie about Robert Blake and his wife, Bonnie. I’m not sure
what the title will be. “To Live and Die in L.A.” has already been used.

Robert Blake is looking for an acting job. Too bad they cancelled the show “Just Shoot Me.”

Now that is nervous
China has joined the U.S. in urging North Korea to continue nuclear arms negotiations. This
situation is tense. In fact, right now it’s as tense as a North Korean dog at supper time.

A diner at a Wendy’s fast food restaurant in San Jose, California, found a human finger in a bowl
of chili. The final insult? It was the middle finger.

Kind of brings an ugly meaning to the term finger bowl.

That could work
If he gets acquitted, Michael Jackson could be the house performer at Donald Trump’s
upcoming big Las Vegas casino. That makes sense, if you could clone Vegas performers Wayne
Newton and Celine Dion, you’d get Michael Jackson.

Not a good sign
A key witness for Michael Jackson, his old bodyguard, is in a Las Vegas jail for kidnapping and
robbery. How messed up are you when your character witness is a convicted felon?

The judge ruled that Michael Jackson’s computer porn cannot be used in court. This is a big win
for Michael Jackson, but a big loss of free advertising for the owners of Me Likes the

Better watch out
The other day, Michael Jackson brought his personal magician to court. Michael has a personal
magician. If he’s not careful people might start to think that Michael Jackson is a little weird.

And in other shocking news, Sean Penn was offended by something
Whitney Houston has returned to rehab. For the rest of us, that’s like getting your car’s oil
changed. Just one more trip back to rehab for Whitney and her tenth trip is free.

Fish gone wild
Did you see CBS’s “Spring Break Shark Attack?” Bikini clad women attacked by sharks. They
got the idea from the Fort Lauderdale Attorney convention.

Now that is a jacked-up vote
“American Idol” had a serious voting mishap. How bad was the voting mishap? The winner
turned out to be Ashlee Simpson.

How bad was the “American Idol” voting screw up? The big loser turned out to be Al Gore.

You don’t suppose?
The Players Championship at Sawgrass is under way. One of the players is Brian Gay. You don’t
suppose Gay’s heard any shaft or “in the hole” jokes do you?

Sadly, Gay is not matched with Davis Love III in the much anticipated Gay/Love match-up.

Since you asked:
Regarding the fame, popularity and success of Gwen Steffani, can I just say that I get that?
Two of the most obnoxious sports fans I have met are both U.Conn graduates. So when U.Conn
got knocked out early, I couldn’t help but go up to one, the woman, and needle a bit. She hits
me with; “Has your school ever had the champion in both men and women’s basketball?” Can’t
let that go, right? I assured her that, while my school hadn’t achieved that particular honor,
every morning when I woke up in college, I was in Santa Barbara.

How nice is Santa Barbara? The only two things anyone ever says about Santa Barbara are, A,
that is really nice, and B, I’ve heard that’s really nice.

Hitting the gym hard today, Slats and Nuggies. (Remember, this section is called “Since you
asked”) Hard on the treadmill (there is a hint of rain) and then weights and plyometrics. And
then a TiVo’d Louisville vs. Wash NCAA game while grilling my Emeril recipe for marinated
flank steak. (Flanks?) You’re welcome.