Thursday, May 11, 2017

ESPN announcer, Sabrina Parr, was fired for accusing a Cleveland Brown player of being on the drugs Molly and the Lean. Molly and the Lean is also my new A Cappella group. 

In his interview with Lester Holt, Donald Trump said he had dinner with James Comey. Things are serious when Trump does not bring up the quality of the chocolate cake. 

In a “Time” interview, Donald Trump criticizes Stephen Colbert so much he interrupted himself. Trump does not just have ADHD. He has ADH “Oh, by the way” D. 

In an interview with “Time,” Donald Trump lashed out at Stephen Colbert. Have you noticed how Trump interrupts himself? He doesn’t just have ADHD. He has ADHDAHDHD.

Political experts are saying the James Comey firing is the beginning of the end for Donald Trump. So you know what that means? Trump will be re-elected in 2020. 

18-year-old Benjamin Pachev finished 16th in the Indianapolis half-marathon wearing Crocs. An Indiana teenage marathon runner in Crocs. If that isn’t a recipe to get babes, what is?

ABC is bringing back “American Idol.” They asked first runner up, Justin Guarini, what he thought and he said he was delighted. Then he asked if we wanted fries with that. 

There is video of parked BMW’s bursting into flames. In a related story, United unveiled their new slogan: “At least our planes don’t burst into flames.” 

Since you asked:

Your heart has to go out to the “SNL” writers this week. This is like NASA after Russia shot Yuri Gagarin into space and back. 

“SNL” needs a “Hidden Figures” skit and have Taraji Henson run out of the “Colored Women” bathroom and into the rain and run up to Kevin Costner and hand him her soggy notes and then draw on a huge slate black board and use euclidian geometry to prove Sarah Huckabee Hanson was speaking to the press because Sean Spicer was hiding in the bushes. 


“So, if your figures are correct, what you’re saying is that one idiot had to speak for the other hiding idiot because their boss was lying?” (To his other engineers) "Why didn’t any of you figure this out?”

So I’m watching something like “Homeland” and they use a voice activated-computer to access security video at the location and time of where the suspect committed the crime. They then use face-recognition software to get his identity. They match up his identity with hospital and police computers to get his DNA, fingerprints and his record and then they use a bank computer to find out he had just run the stolen credit card at a bar. 

They send in helicopters to the bar and the guy is arrested. 

Today, when I got a haircut, the nice lady said they had a new computer system and asked if I would like to get emails notifying me of specials. Four confused employees and 20 minutes later they still could not get my email address in their computer. 

ESPN fires a butt-load of announcers and yet that pompous jerk-wad Stephen A. (Hole) Smith and that bratty entitled cashier-insulter, Britt McHenry, are still employed?