Friday, November 17, 2006

What? What? What? Oh now it’s on. Oh yes, itt’s on’r than a mother fizzy, Torn Slatterns and Nugget Ranchers

One just don’t cut it, trust me
“People” named George Clooney “Sexiest Man Alive” for the second time. That’s good because that one time “Sexiest Man Alive” title just doesn’t cut it with the ladies. You need the second title to have any shot.

I’mm ah Sexy mahhn
“People” named George Clooney “Sexiest Man Alive.” Man, just when you think Kevin Federline’s week couldn’t get any worse, he gets shot down for “Sexiest Man Alive.”

“People” named George Clooney “Sexiest Man Alive.” Can you imagine the pressure that goes with having the “Sexiest Man Alive” title? “Hey Sexiest Man Alive, even a two-minute egg takes two minutes. Sheesh. ”

“People” named George Clooney “Sexiest Man Alive.” Can you imagine the pressure that goes with having the “Sexiest Man Alive” title? “Hey Sexiest Man Alive, looks like that water must have been pretty cold.”

“Hey, sexiest man alive, wipe off that mustard on your chin that dripped off your corn dog.”

“Hey, sexiest man alive, would you mind lighting a match when you are finished in the bathroom?”

“Hey, Sexiest man alive, you might want to throw out those Spiderman underwear with all the holes in them.”

Fair is fair
Oprah Winfrey was not invited to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes' wedding in Italy. That hardly seems fair since Oprah and Steadman’s relationship is the model for how Tom and Katie will base their own fake celebrity marriage.

Not a big seller
OJ Simpson has written a book on how he would have committed the double murders of which he was supposedly acquitted called; “If I Did It.” Sales are not expected to be brisk when you consider there are only twelve people in the world who don’t know how OJ did it: his jury.

Former Dallas Cowboy great Emmett Smith won “Dancing with the Stars.” There was a near tragedy: when it was announced that he won, Emmett picked up his dance partner, Cheryl Burke, and he almost spiked her.

You’d think that would do it. We kid the RR
A woman told the “Inquirer” that the husband of insanely perky cooking celebrity Rachel Ray paid her to spit on him and perform other humiliating sex acts. Amazingly just having to listen to Rachel Ray all the time just wasn’t enough abuse.

Do the math
President Bush is touring Asia. President Bush is particularly looking forward to traveling to Japan where the dollar to yen conversion is times 117 so Bush figures his approval rating will soar from 35% to 4,000%.

Not good
The bad news for Kevin Federline is that, despite a lot of promotion, his rap CD is 151st on the album charts. The really bad news for K-Fed.? There were only 140 albums released.